Political Jumpology is the modern day art form of jumping from one political party to the other. More acerbic writers would rather call the matter by a different name: political
prostitution.
There is no need to call names here because the political jumpologists, or political prostitutes if you care, do not need much introduction.
To give him his due, there is this perennial political wheeler-dealer who is without question Nigeria’s greatest practitioner of political jumpology.
As a political jumpologist, he has thus far jumped from all the political parties whose acronyms are to be found in the English language alphabet and more.
In every stanza of the Nigerian presidential election, he stands tall to be counted by throwing his hat into the ring with any available political party named PPP or DDD or XYB or whatever.
Some mere mortals on the political terrain are endlessly talking of zoning, but the grandmasters insist as per the divine right of the north to the presidency.
This suits the perpetual political jumpologist down to the last dollar in his oversized agbada pockets as it enables him to participate in every presidential primary or dollar bazaar..
It bodes well for the jumpologist to somehow engineer his good self to be put forward as a northern ace anytime the south deigns to want to take power.
He even volunteered as the scapegoat in a primordial arrangement of getting a single northern candidate to lock horns with the then incumbent southern shoeless one who happened to be by chance in Aso Villa back then.
It was akin to digging his political grave when the feudal lords atavistically set on the course of choosing a so-called northern consensus candidate to oust the much-ballyhooed clueless one.
Given the charged situation in the country then, it became clear to many discerning political minds that a poisoned chalice was on offer for the opportunistic jumpologist of fortune.
The humiliation the jumpologist suffered at Eagle Square in that instance haunted him so much, thus leading to yet another jump from one party to the other.
It was then after that political crossing the jumpologist rose in raptures to square up with the quintessential president of the north for the ultimate diadem.
The word out there was that the jumpologist was crudely rigged out by the irredentist, but they had to settle on brotherly terms when the opponent became a stand-in father for the son of the incumbent when he wedded.
A master of the cash-and-carry democracy of Nigeria, the jumpologist past master of inebriating party delegates with a stash of American dollars is on the march again.
One roughneck out of the rich rivers of the south nearly overwhelmed the nation as a noisemaker in his guttural bid to challenge the irrepressible jumpologist dollar-for-dollar for the presidential slot but ended up being knocked into comatose like a drunken
pugilist.
